In a move that has both fans and critics buzzing, music icons Kid Rock and Blake Shelton have announced a joint “Non-Woke Red States Tour,” dedicated to bringing unfiltered, unapologetic entertainment to conservative-leaning audiences. Riding a wave of enthusiasm following Donald Trump’s recent re-election, the two stars are taking their “no-nonsense” brand of music on the road to states where, as they put it, “you can let loose without judgment.”

“We’re officially back!” Kid Rock exclaimed in a fiery announcement video, waving a red Solo cup. “This tour is for the fans who are tired of feeling like they have to walk on eggshells just to have a good time.” Shelton echoed the sentiment, saying, “We’ve missed bringing good old American fun to the people who appreciate it. If you’re tired of politics everywhere you look, come to the show and let loose with us.”

Unlike the standard concert tour, Kid Rock and Shelton’s Red States-only tour aims to strip away what they call “the layers of political correctness” that have saturated the entertainment industry in recent years. No slogans about saving the planet, no PSAs on inclusivity—just two artists ready to deliver an old-fashioned show that celebrates what they call “American values.”

Organizers have teased a “patriotic stage setup” with giant American flags, military-style lighting effects, and fanfare that takes audiences back to “a simpler time.” Even the merchandise lineup echoes the tour’s theme, featuring slogans like “Unapologetically American” and “Keep It Real, Keep It Country.”

“We’re not here to make a political statement; we’re here to have a great time with people who get it,” Shelton said. “We just want people to relax, have fun, and celebrate the music. We’re doing this our way, and we know our fans will be right there with us.”

In a bold move, Kid Rock and Shelton have decided to keep the tour limited to red states, specifically targeting regions where their message is likely to resonate most. This means no stops in New York, California, or other traditionally blue states. “It’s nothing personal, but we’re focusing on the places that feel like home to us,” Kid Rock said. “We know who we’re playing for, and they’re the people who are tired of the ‘woke’ nonsense.”

Shelton clarified, “It’s not about shutting anyone out, it’s about bringing the show to places where we know people will appreciate it for what it is. We want this tour to feel like a family reunion.”

The tour will kick off in Texas before making stops in Florida, Tennessee, and other Southern and Midwestern states, with most venues situated in cities known for their strong support of traditional values. For the fans who felt overlooked by recent shifts in pop culture, Kid Rock and Shelton’s tour is being seen as a refreshing return to something familiar and comfortable.

The announcement has unleashed a flood of reactions on social media, especially from conservative fans who feel they’ve been left out by the current entertainment landscape. Twitter and Facebook lit up with messages from fans celebrating the tour as “the return of real music.” One Twitter user from Alabama summed it up: “Blake Shelton and Kid Rock are giving us a show we don’t have to feel guilty about. Finally, a concert we can actually enjoy!”

Fans are eagerly snatching up tickets, with presale numbers in states like Texas and Alabama soaring within hours of the announcement. “I’m buying tickets for the whole family,” one fan wrote on Instagram. “We’ve missed out on so much because we’re tired of feeling lectured to. This is the show we’ve been waiting for!”

Critics, however, have been quick to accuse Shelton and Kid Rock of pandering, with some calling the tour “divisive” and “alienating.” One comment from a blue-state fan read, “So they’re not coming here because we’re not ‘American’ enough? Thanks, but no thanks.”

But the backlash has done little to dampen the enthusiasm of red-state supporters. “The people who love us will be there, and the people who don’t like it… well, they know where the door is,” Kid Rock quipped in response to the criticism.

Staying true to their “non-woke” brand, the duo’s merchandise will include bold slogans and designs that reflect the tour’s unfiltered style. T-shirts reading “Red, White, and Unapologetic” and “Freedom Isn’t Optional” are already being advertised as part of the merch lineup.

The tour will also feature limited-edition posters signed by both artists and VIP packages that include exclusive backstage access and “Meet the Mavericks” sessions. “It’s all about giving the fans something real,” said Shelton. “If you want to take home a piece of America that’s loud and proud, we’ve got you covered.”

Kid Rock has never been shy about his opinions, and he’s made it clear that this tour is a celebration of freedom—his, Shelton’s, and his fans’. “People are done feeling like they have to censor themselves,” he told his fans in a live-streamed announcement. “This is about letting go and celebrating who we are without worrying if we’re saying the ‘right’ thing.”

The choice to headline with Shelton, who has a massive following as both a country music star and a judge on The Voice, was an easy one. “Blake is one of the realest people I know,” Kid Rock said. “He’s not trying to please everyone; he’s just being himself. That’s what this tour is all about.”

Shelton, meanwhile, pointed out that the tour isn’t about excluding anyone, despite the “Red States” branding. “We’re going where we’re wanted,” Shelton explained. “We love all our fans, but this is about going to the places that are ready to rock with us, full throttle.”

In an era when mainstream music tours are often linked to causes and charities, Shelton and Kid Rock’s tour stands out for its raw, no-frills approach. Some analysts believe this is a calculated move that could signal a shift in the industry, as artists see untapped potential in audiences craving traditional entertainment values.

“This tour could very well be the beginning of a new trend,” said one industry expert. “It shows there’s still a huge market for artists who are unapologetic and stay true to their roots.”

Meanwhile, some concert organizers have expressed surprise at the tour’s overwhelming ticket sales, which are outpacing expectations. “We knew there’d be demand, but this is something else,” said one promoter in Florida. “People are hungry for this kind of show.”

As Kid Rock and Shelton gear up for their Red States tour, they’re doubling down on their message of “fun without filters.” With an all-American stage setup and patriotic visuals, the duo promises a show that’s less about making statements and more about “making memories.”

“Let’s be real,” Kid Rock said. “We’re not here to lecture anyone. We’re here to rock, have a good time, and celebrate the freedom that makes this country great.”

As the opening date approaches, fans from all walks of life are ready to see Kid Rock and Blake Shelton do what they do best—bring music, freedom, and a little rebellion back to the stage. And if ticket sales are any indication, the “Non-Woke Red States Tour” is set to be one of the hottest—and perhaps most talked-about—events of the year.

For Shelton and Kid Rock, the message is clear: they’re back, they’re unapologetic, and they’re ready to give fans a show they won’t forget. As Kid Rock put it with a wink, “Get your tickets, grab a drink, and let’s make some noise. We’re just getting started.”

NOTE: This is SATIRE, It’s Not True.