In a shocking turn of events, Denzel Washington, the actor known for his nuanced portrayals of complex characters, has turned down a whopping $50 million project with Disney. The reason? According to Washington, Disney is “just too woke” for him. While some might see this as a principled stand, others are left wondering if Washington’s alarm clock is just set a few hours behind the times.
Over the past few years, Disney has been on a mission to out-woke every other studio in Hollywood. From introducing a princess who’s passionate about recycling to a prince who’s a vocal advocate for veganism, Disney has been ticking off every box in the progressive handbook. Rumor has it that their next project involves a musical number about composting set in the world of “Frozen”. Elsa and Anna singing about the benefits of organic waste? Now that’s a sequel worth waiting for.
Denzel, however, seems to have missed the memo about Hollywood’s new direction. When asked about his decision, he remarked, “I just wanted to do a film about a regular guy who recycles because it’s the right thing to do, not because he’s trying to impress his eco-conscious love interest.” Ah, the good old days when characters had depth beyond their recycling habits.
Hollywood, never one to shy away from a juicy story, has had mixed reactions to Washington’s decision. One anonymous director remarked, “I always knew Denzel was a method actor, but I didn’t realize his method involved living under a rock.” Meanwhile, a prominent actress was overheard saying, “If being woke means getting $50 million, then someone please hand me an alarm clock.”
Of course, the fans had a field day on social media. #TooWokeForDenzel started trending, with many sharing memes of Washington looking confused by modern trends like avocado toast and electric cars. One fan tweeted, “Denzel rejects $50 million because of wokeness? Guess he won’t be buying that eco-friendly mansion anytime soon.”
While it remains to be seen if Denzel Washington’s stand against excessive wokeness will impact his career, one thing is clear: in the ever-evolving world of Hollywood, it’s essential to keep up with the times, even if it means setting your alarm clock a little earlier. As for Disney, they’re reportedly in talks with another actor who’s more in tune with their vision. Word on the street is that he’s a passionate advocate for sustainable fashion and has a pet alpaca named “Eco”. Stay tuned for more updates.
Alex is a writer with a passion for space exploration and a penchant for satirical commentary. He has written extensively on the latest discoveries in astronomy and astrophysics, as well as the ongoing efforts to explore our solar system and beyond. In addition to his space-related work, Alex is also known for his satirical writing, which often takes a humorous and irreverent look at contemporary issues and events. His unique blend of science and humor has earned him a dedicated following and numerous accolades. When he’s not writing, Alex can often be found stargazing with his telescope or honing his comedic skills at local open mic nights.
